Watch My Rear End, Not Hers!

[Image from cheesecake.org; Amazing Motor Girls photo by Mark Rezyka]

Whatever happened to the ubiquitous bumper sticker? They were all over the place (actually, mostly on rear bumpers) back in the 60s and 70s, then they disappeared - gradually or all at once, I don't remember. You would think that during these politically-charged times we would see the return of these in-your-face-from-the-rear-messages, but you rarely see one. Did the Internet's blogs, forums and Photoshop art replace the bumper sticker, assigning to the trash heap of pop cultury history? Or, maybe Charles Schultz, creator of Peanuts, was right when he said, ""There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker."

Some classic bumper stickers from the 60s and 70s:

Honk If You're Horny
Ass, Gas or Grass - Nobody Rides For Free
If This Van's A-Rockin', Don't Bother Knockin'
Don't Laugh Lady, Your Daughter Might Be Inside!
Make Babies Not Bombs
Make Love Not War
Honk If You Love Jesus
Have A Nice Day
Keep On Truckin'
Eat My Dust
Save The Whales
Save Water - Shower with a Friend
A Friend With Weed Is A Friend Indeed
If You Can Read This You're Too Damn Close
I Brake For Small Animals
America - Love It Or Leave It
Save A Tree Eat A Beaver
Disco Sucks!
Folk You
Mafia Staff Car
Mom's Taxi
One Nuclear Bomb Can Ruin Your Whole Day
If Handguns Are Outlawed Only Outlaws Will Have Handguns
Watch My Rear End, Not Hers!

Compare them to these actual, but rarely seen, 21st century bumper stickers:

Keep honking, I'm reloading.
My kid had sex with your honor student.
Hang up and drive.
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
Lord save me from your followers.
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
Forget about world peace, visualize using your turn signal.
Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Be nice to your kids. They'll be choosing your nursing home.
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Rehab is for quitters.
No radio - Already stolen.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
i souport publik edekashun.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
Caution: I drive like you do.

Conclusion: People are funnier today. They just don't advertise it.

[Bumper sticker quotes from Nostalgia Central and The Geek Theater.]
[Thanks to Amanda and Darcy, Amazing Motor Girls]